A: You said you were thinking of holiday plans.
B: O yes, let's get out and get going.
We could go to Peru
Or the isle of Cebu
Or the Amazon basin by dugout canoe:
The options are steadily growing!
A: But Britain, I'll bet, is much safer –
B: – and wet!
A: But so many options I hear now:
The lush Channel Islands,
The lochs of the Highlands –
I feel more at home when I travel in my lands,
And travel abroad is so dear now.
B: That's really the best? Why, just think of the rest –
The world is your oyster, so try it:
In Nepal, catch a yeti,
In Rome, make spaghetti,
Track wildlife across the immense Serengeti –
Now that's what you'd love, don't deny it.
A: But travel's a pain: it can drive me insane.
The cramped noisy planes and the waiting,
And the heat that repels
And the dodgy hotels
And the unpleasant food and the horrible smells,
The queues and the crowds: so frustrating.
B: But let me remind you how charming to find
A bar on a beach: a mojito
By a balmy lagoon
In the light of the moon
As a gamelan band plays a tropical tune.
A: You're serious? – this I would veto!
No, think of the Cotswolds: a brisk rural walk,
The countryside charmingly English:
There's an old country pub
With traditional grub
And a tumbledown cottage without the hubbub.
B: So plans for abroad you'd extinguish?
Your options are lazy – try something more crazy:
Sail oceans by breezes prevailing.
Or traverse the Sahel –
On a camel as well! –
Then at Marrakesh wave to the Tuareg farewell.
Or – scale a Swiss peak while abseiling.
A: It seems you and me will just never agree.
Perhaps, though, that's not so dismaying.
Let's plan to stay home –
B: – What, we're never to roam?
A: Yes, I fear we are victims of lockdown syndrome.
We'll be much more happy just staying.
B: Perhaps you are right: so no trips, no more flights,
At home we'll remain – no more straying.
So … forget Madagascar?
The plains of Nebraska?
Tierra del Fuego
Or Montego Bay?
A: No!
B: Or kayaks in Iceland?
A: All out of our price band!
Relaxing at home will be grand –
B: – will suffice, and –
[pause]
B: A weekend in Kent?
A: No!!
B: Just saying … !
