thoughts that surround you

Do you end up married, or single and happy; a saint or a sinner; famous – or do you die unloved and alone?

It's your life and your choice, Marie-Claire.

> 1. 

Marie-Claire, you are alone on the balcony of your beautiful apartment on the Boulevard St Michel, with its distant view of the Tour Eiffel. It is an exquisite evening: dusk falling, a few birds rustling the branches of the tree outside your window, the evening star bright in the west against a deepening indigo sky. People hurry to appointments below, but you feel totally relaxed. That nagging feeling that you should be doing something with your life has almost disappeared tonight. You become aware of a guitar strumming somewhere above, something you've heard before, romantic and charming on evenings such as this. Then a voice, high and clear, starts to sing along. This is new, but sounds so beautiful it almost makes you want to cry. There is something about the voice that sounds familiar: then you start to listen to the words and a sudden chill in the air makes you shudder.

You talk like Marlene Dietrich
And you dance like Zizi Jeanmaire
Your clothes are all made by Balmain
And there's diamonds and pearls in your hair, yes there are

You live in a fancy apartment
Off the Boulevard St. Michel
Where you keep your Rolling Stones records
And a friend of Sacha Distel, yes you do

It's almost like it was written about you. But you have no idea who is singing. It seems to be telling you to do something radical with your life. But what?

• Your life seems so shallow. You decide to do something completely radical. Go to > 7
• You do sound like Marlene. You decide to have voice coaching lessons. Go to > 2
• You are a good dancer. You decide to ask Zizi Jeanmaire to coach you. Go to > 3
• You do dress well. You decide to ask your contacts at Balmain to take you on as a trainee couturier. Go to > 4
• You decide to ask Sacha Distel for his advice. Go to > 5
• You decide to go to the apartment above and find out who is singing. Go to > 6

> 2. 

You visit the Academie Musicale and ask Mme. Parnasse to give you voice coaching lessons. She tells you that you do have some qualities of Marlene – a deep and husky speaking voice, but also an exquisite contralto singing voice. What do you want to do?

• Develop a sexy speaking voice? > 8
• Work on your singing voice with a view to becoming a serious singer? > 9

> 3.  

You visit the Ballet Russe where a contact introduces you to the great ballerina, Zizi Jeanmaire. You demonstrate your dancing skills to her. Reluctantly she agrees to take you on, if you are prepared to work incredibly hard and push yourself to become a prima ballerina.

• You do work hard, but it is more, much more than you ever imagined. Every night you come home aching all over, your feet sore and bruised. Every night, over and over, worse and worse … > 20
• You work hard but soon realise you are never going to become a star of the ballet. Mme Jeanmaire is very gracious about it. She advises you to take up jazz dancing and you take to this very successfully. You audition for a cabaret at Juan-les-Pins and later that summer off you go to take up your new career > 24

> 4.

You are already a very loyal customer at Balmain and they are impressed by your exquisite good taste. They jump at the chance to take you on as a style advisor, with a finger on the pulse of the next generation, and you quickly get to understand what goes into making haute couture. They give you a grounding in selecting, cutting and stitching material and soon you are an expert tailor too. Now you have to decide where to go from here.

• Having developed the knowledge, you start to write for magazines about fashion trends and become very good at this. You decide to leave the firm and be a fashion journalist full time. > 10
• The people at Balmain idolize you and you quickly rise through the ranks. You become known as the lead designer, one of the pre-eminent fashionistas of your generation > 46

> 5. 

You call up Sacha Distel, because you know him to be a good, decent man. He tells you that his wife is away, but you are welcome to come over for a heart to heart. So next evening you go to his apartment near the Elysee Palace. You find him alone in his dressing gown. He offers you champagne and talks animatedly about your life choices. Yes, you are living a hedonistic, meaningless existence; yes, you could achieve something great if you chose to. But slowly you realise there is more going on. Is he making a pass at you? You always found him attractive, but would you want to damage his marriage – definitely not. But a brief affair? It's the Parisian way, is it not? And maybe that could be the spur that jolts you out of your rut. Now he's talking about a few days away – do you want to go with him?

• Do you encourage him and embark on this affair? > 13
• Do you make an excuse and leave – but ponder his advice about life choices? > 7

> 6. 

You've never really thought about the apartment above before, in fact you thought it was just the old garret, empty and abandoned. You go out into the hallway. You hear more of the song.

So look into my face, Marie-Claire
And remember just who you are

You look at the small winding stair. You look into the old rickety elevator and notice for the first time that there is a button, 7, above that for your floor, 6.

• You take the elevator to the seventh floor. It shudders and shakes, but suddenly there you are, facing a door. You push it open and see a figure standing with his back to you, strumming a guitar. > 27
• You take the stairs. They are rickety, old and worn, winding around and around, going out of sight, darker and darker, narrower. How much further? This is all starting to seem a bit weird. > 20

> 7. 

You decide to take a long, hard look at yourself. The song has made you think seriously about your future. You decide it's time to throw hedonism aside and start on a new, radical course.

• You decide to become a nun > 15
• You decide to join the revolution > 16

> 8. 

 She advises you that there is very little she can do for you, and that the best way to make our voice more sexy is to smoke 60 Gitanes a day.

• Take her advice? > 49
• Think this whole thing is getting a bit weird? > 20

> 9. 

You work hard under Mme. Parnasse and your deep contralto voice improves immensely. But you find opera doesn't fill you with joy. One night at a little smoky basement cafe on the Left Bank you hear an amazing black jazz singer and suddenly it all clicks into place. This is your destiny! Next day you go the club owner and ask him to hear you sing: he is enchanted and hires you on the spot. You get a weekly show at the club then he suggests a summer season at Juan-les-Pins, or later in the year at a St Moritz ski lodge. You want to do it – but which?

• Summer at Juan-les-Pins? > 24
• Winter at St Moritz? > 25

> 10. 

You join the staff of Paris Mode as a fashion journalist. Becoming frustrated at the conservative editorial approach you decide to set up your own magazine, the eponymous Marie-Claire. Using trendy photographers and unusual, stunning models to capture the imagination, it rapidly finds favour with the younger generation. Soon you open an office in New York and Milan and launch English and Italian editions. You become the doyenne of the fashion world, sought after for all the catwalk shows world wide. > 47

> 13. 

You leap into his arms and he picks you up and carries you to the bedroom. It is a whirlwind affair. Next morning you lie between silk sheets with the morning light bright through the window. He wants you to go away for a few days with him, either to Juan-les-Pins immediately, while his wife is still away, or later to St Moritz, to his ski lodge, when his wife will be away for longer. Whch is it to be?

• Summer at Juan-les-Pins? > 24
• Winter at St Moritz? > 25

> 15. 

Yes, you have always been a committed Christian and like many girls, back in the day wanted to be a nun. So you go along to see the Mother Superior at the Carmelite covent in St Germain des Pres and ask her to take you on as a novice. She agrees but is suspicious of you and a strict disciplinarian. You agree to purge yourself of past sins. She subjects you to a rigorous regime of chores and long prayer sessions, and for every minor transgression she arranges a beating. This is much worse than you expected. Do you:

• Go to the supervising priest and complain? > 18
• Realise that it is good for you and take on more? > 19

> 16. 

Yes, you have always felt, in your heart, sympathy for the radical cause, despite your hedonism. You join a small revolutionary group plotting an overthrow of capitalism. It is the summer of 1968 and the government are under great pressure from strikes and demonstrations, culminating in the Paris riots. Your group is of course actively involved and storms the police lines on the Champs Elysees. You see some of your group ahead of you badly beaten by the riot police. Do you:

• Rush forward to try and help them, in the process getting arrested? > 21
• Get scared and sneak away, diving into a local radical cafe? > 22

> 18. 

The priest asks you to prostrate yourself on the floor and ask God for guidance. Does he:

• Realise that you are a good person and the Mother Superior is wrong. So he encourages you to be responsible for your own punishments from now on; and promises to talk to the powers that be to promote you? > 19
• Start to abuse you; so you kick him and run away from the convent, knowing you have taken the wrong course, and try for something even more radical? > 16

> 19. 

You kneel every day in your cell and chastise yourself, begging God to forgive your early life. Your saintliness is recognised by the order and you are sent to India to set up a new mission helping the poorest of the poor.

• You continue modestly working for the poor. > 44
• Secretly your unwordliness is more for show. > 47

> 20. 

Strange and familiar – yes, suddenly you realise it's that old anxiety dream again, that repeats over and over every night. You force yourself awake and realise you have dozed off in your apartment. You get up and go to the balcony and look out. Go to > 1

> 21. 

The police grab you and throw you into a wagon with a group of other protestors you don't know. At the police station you are beaten up badly. Do you:

• Refuse to receive treatment for your injuries until all your fellow protestors are released? > 49
• Suddenly think this doesn't feel right? In fact, all a bit weird? > 20

> 22. 

You enter the cafe, which is full of radicals, worrying about their friends getting beaten up outside. You hear the sound of live music – familiar music – and turn to look at the stage. You catch the eye of the singer: he keeps watching you as he sings.

But where do you go to my lovely
When you're alone in your bed?
Tell me the thoughts that surround you
I want to look inside your head, yes I do.

After he finishes his set he comes straight over to you and introduces himself. Peter Sarstedt, he says: and you're Marie-Claire. How do you know? you ask. I've known you longer than you think, he says, smiling mysteriously. We have to get away from all this nonsense, he shouts above the noise of crashing glass. Come with me now! But where?

• Come with me now, to Juan-les-Pins, to the beach for the summer, he says. > 24
• Or we can travel abroad all the summer, then go to St Moritz for the skiing. > 25

> 24. 

So you go to Juan-les-Pins, filled in the skiing season with beautiful beaches and beautiful people. So many millionaires, and the beautiful cabaret, and the casino. So many temptations. A huge sign at the cabaret says that the star act is Peter Sarstedt and you decide to watch him. He smiles as he performs. He seems to know so much about you.

When you go on your summer vacation
You go to Juan-les-Pins
With your carefully designed topless swimsuit
You get an even suntan on your back, and on your legs

• Do you get scared of him and keep clear of him and hang out with the rich and famous? > 26
• Or do you want to get closer to Peter? > 27

> 25. 

So that winter you end up in St Moritz, up in the Alps, filled in the skiing season with beautiful people. So many millionaires, and the beautiful cabaret, and the casino. So many temptations. A huge sign at the cabaret says that the star act is Peter Sarstedt and you decide to watch him. He smiles as he performs. He seems to know so much about you.

And when the snow falls you're found in St. Moritz
With the others of the jet set
And you sip your Napoleon brandy
But you never get your lips wet, no you don't

• Do you get scared of him and keep clear of him and hang out with the rich and famous? > 26
• Or do you want to get closer to Peter? > 27

> 26. 

Because you know Sacha Distel, you have met some of the rich crowd that hang out here. You're introduced to a few of the more eligible millionaires and even the Aga Khan, who comes every year.

• The Aga Khan is very impressed with you and your fashion sense. You tell him about your idea to write about fashion for a younger generation. He encourages you to go into journalism and offers to eventually finance a new magazine under your editorship. > 10
• You get in with the fast set and on a destructive path of parties, champagne, drugs and sex. > 49

> 27. 

 So you meet up with Peter and start to question him about how he knows you.

• I know your type, he says, that's all. But I thought this song was about me, you say – it even has my name in it. It's not about you, he says, but about the people like you. I got the name off your apartment door. You're typical of the hedonistic type. > 30
• You really don't know who I am, do you? he says. Perhaps one day you will realise. > 33

> 30. 

You feel sad that he's not somehow connected. You think about what he said. You meet up with him a few more times but there is no spark: you decide you need to change:

• To put your skills and innate good taste to work and start writing about fashion and modern taste. > 10
• To take a radical new direction in your life. > 7

> 33. 

You ponder this. Yes there is something very familiar about him, you now realise. Not just from the apartment, but – something elusive before. She presses him but he continues to be mysterious. The season is drawing to a close. They must leave. He makes a suggestion: let's go to Naples.

• Do you go with him? > 34
• Do you continue to be fascinated by him – but go home? > 37

> 34. 

You arrive with Peter in Naples, and he takes you to one of the poorer districts down by the docks. Suddenly it all seems very familiar – like you've been here before. He takes out his guitar and starts to play:

I remember the back streets of Naples:
Two children begging in rags
Both touched with a burning ambition
To shake off their lowly-born tags, they tried

It was starting to come back. Those times you had suppressed, that you had left behind as a small girl. Peter looks into your eyes. You remember now, don't you? We were here, weren't we? But what were we? Were we:

• Childhood sweethearts? > 46
• Or brother and sister? > 48

> 37. 

Back in Paris, you follow his career, reading everything you can in the papers. You go to his concerts anonymously. You set up a fan club that becomes a big thing, with all the thousands of Peter Sarstedt fans clamouring for more information about him. You go to interview him. What happens then?

• He praises your writing and says you should be a journalist. He puts you in touch with the editor of a women's magazine he knows. > 10
• He tells you he regrets losing touch with you after that season together. He asks you out on a date. > 40

> 40. 

You start to see him regularly. You fall deeply in love, you spend all your time together. But he starts to criticise your lifestyle again, your hedonism. One day, you have an angry row in the street and he threatens to break up.

• Knowing there can never be another love for you, do you take drastic action? > 15
• Do you say to him, none of this matters, Peter, when we are in love? Suddenly he smiles. > 46

> 44. 

You build a great movement across the third world, the poor Marie-Claires, helping and serving the poor, and die peacefully among your adoring masses. Later people ascribe miracles to you, and after many years the Pope declares that Mother Marie-Claire is a saint.

             THE END

> 46. 

Yes, suddenly Peter rushes forward and grabs you, lifts you in his arms and twirls you around. The old people around look on and cheer. It doesn't matter, in the end, what you do, what you are, says Peter. All that matters is – love! I know you, Marie-Claire! I know what you're thinking. It's what was in your heart all along:

I know where you go to my lovely
When you're alone in your bed
I know the thoughts that surround you
Cause I can look inside your head.

Now no more apart – we can be together for ever more. Marry me, Marie-Claire!

THE END

> 47. 

Now you are a household name in your field. You travel the world, giving interviews, making pronouncements and people listen to our every word. Busy, busy! Too busy to form any real relationship, alone but content.

You still retain your old apartment on the Left Bank and sometimes anonymously sneak back there and walk out onto the balcony at dusk, to see the familiar sights, hear the familiar sounds and remember the sound of the song that changed your life forever.

But where do you go to my lovely
When you're alone in your bed?
Won't you tell me the thoughts that surround you?
I want to look inside your head.

THE END

> 48. 

Yes, brother and sister! All those years ago, and cruelly separated by fate. It doesn't matter, in the end, what you do, what you are, says Peter. All that matters is – love! It all came flooding back. I know you, Marie-Claire! I know what you're thinking. It's what was in your heart all along:

I know where you go to my lovely
When you're alone in your bed
I know the thoughts that surround you
Cause I can look inside your head.

Now we can be brother and sister once more!

THE END

> 49. 

This proves to be a disastrous choice. Within a few years you die in pain, alone in your apartment. Your body is buried at Pere Lachaise cemetery, early one morning, a cold mist lingering over the open grave, the black earth piled up beside it. Nobody attends the funeral – except a lone figure hunched up in his winter coat who strums a guitar and sings to himself.

I know where you go to my lovely
When you're alone in your bed
I know the thoughts that surround you
Cause I can look inside your head

THE END

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