tenth commandment

TENTH COMMANDMENT

IN  THE BEGINNING was the Third Person, and the Third Person was Omniscient. And on the first day He spake and saith: “Let there be a Story.” And the writers were sore afraid, for they knew not how to write the Story.

     And on the second day, Beginning, Middle and End created He them. And the writers quaked still, for they knew not how to write the Story.

And on the third day created He the elements of the Story. Setting, Plot and Conflict created He them, and the writers were still afraid, for they knew not how to write the Story.

And on the fourth day, the Omniscient One created He Characters to inhabit the Settings and fill all the Story with Plot and Conflict. But the writers were still afraid.

And the Omniscient One looked down and saw that the Third Person was not sufficient thereof for the writers. And on the fifth day, He spake thus to the people:

“Thou shalt write also in the Second Person. Take up thy quills, O writers, take up thy pens and pencils, thy keyboards and thy mouses, for thou shalt write the Story and bow down over thy paper and thy books and thine ipads until the Story is completed. For now thou hast the Second Person, yea, even unto the singular and the plural, and thou shalt call it YOU.”

And the writers did rejoice and note that he spake in the Second Person. But one amongst them did rise up and say:

“Lord, Thou hast found that the Third Person was not sufficient thereof, and Thou hast created the Second Person, yea, even unto the singular and the plural, but how can the poor writers express their personal experiences in the Third Person and the Second Person?”

And the Lord saith: “Don't get ahead of yourselves, O my people.”

And on the sixth day created He the First Person: “Now am I mighty,” saith the Lord, “Yea, I am the Three in One. The Lord is Omniscient in the Third Person, but bow down to the Lord in the Second Person, for I am a jealous Lord in the First Person.”

And the writers were wondrous glad, because their prayers had been answered, and the Lord had spoken in the Third Person and the Second Person and the First Person in one sentence and they saw that it was Good.

“Now,” saith the Three in One, “thou hast the First Person, yea, even unto the singular and the plural, and thou shalt call it I, ME, WE and US.”

And the writers rejoiced, even though this seemed unnecessarily complicated compared with the Second Person. “Now may we also write the Story in the First Person. We shall bow down our heads and write the Story and praise the One, for we shall take up our quills, our pens and pencils, our keyboards and our mouses, yea even our ipads, and we shall write in the Third Person and the Second Person and the First Person, yea even unto the singular and plural, and the Story shall be Good.” And they rejoiced to speak in the First Person.

And one among them spake and saith: “Lord, can a Story be written in whole or in part in epistolary form or is this not a Story?”

And the Lord saith: “Yea, so it can be written in whole or in part.”

And another among them spake and saith: “Art Thou sure that we can write a paragraph starting with 'And'?”

And the Lord saith: “Be thou not a wuss, and worry not about pettyfogging nonsensical grammatical rules invented by people with more time on their hands than common sense. For if starting with 'And' is good enough for Me then who art thou to complain? Now shalt thou get on with it and stop making excuses not to write.”

And the writers did laugh and they did call the man Wuss.

“Now, O Mighty One, we are ready to write the Story,” said the writers.

And the Lord spake and saith: “Now shalt thou practice for thirty days and thirty nights and write a story each day and ask for no reward, for all stories are the One True Story. And on the fifteenth day thou shalt write in the Third Person and the Second Person and the First Person, and thou shalt write partly in epistolary form. And the writers did groan and hope for a simpler theme on the sixteenth day.

And sudden there appeared two great stone tablets and on them the One had writ the Ten Commandments of the Story and this was the epistolary part of the Story:

I. Thou shalt write a Story.

II. Thou shalt write a Beginning, a Middle and End thereof, though the beginning may only be implied.

III. Thou shalt write Characters.

IV. Thou shalt write a Setting.

V. Thou shalt write a Plot.

VI. Thou shalt write Conflict.

VII. Thou shalt write in the Third Person or the Second Person or the First Person as thou wilt, even unto the singular and plural thereof.

VIII. Thou shalt write in epistolary form in part or in whole if thou wilt, but don't over do it.

IX. Thou shalt not be a Wuss and worry about grammatical rules: neither the conjuction start, nor the infinitive split, nor the preposition end shall constrain thee, save only that thou writest clearly and concisely.

X. Thou shalt write a Resolution of the Story.

And the writers commenced to write, but they wondered at the new tenth Commandment. For what was a Resolution? Was it like a punch line or a twist at the end of the story? And they called to the One for an answer, saying, “O Lord, how do we resolve the Story?” but answer came there none.

Then sudden did the sky darken until it was almost night, and the heavens did split asunder and rain did fall sheet upon sheet like unto a mighty flood, despite this being mid June, and the writers were certain that this was a clear sign of climate change.

And the clouds did part and a Hand did write in letters of Fire upon the Earth, and the writers were sore afraid. But then they did rejoice when they read the words, for they were the words of the Omniscient One:

“THIS is the Resolution!”