last judgment

What I did on my hollidays

On my hollidays we went to Bournmouth. We go to Bournmouth every year fro our hollidays. It is my nan's house and we stay in it. I like when it is sunny we go on the bach and I make a big sand castle and I dig a big deep mott so when the sea come in it fill up the mott. Then no one can get in the castle not even a dragon cos dragon cant fly over water. When you go back next day the castle is gone cos the sea come in and wash it away, only the sea and me can beat the castle.

I like my nan cos she give me sweets and tell my mummy dont nag the boy. She makes nice food like fuit pie with rubarb in it wot she grows in her garden and custard also nice sausages not the ones we get at home. On Fridays we get fish and chips from the chip shop over the road and I like it best of all.

I dont like when it rains all day and I get bored and we stay at Nans house and mumy gets mad if I say Im bored can we go to the pictures. Nan took me the pictures to see a picture called Wizerd of Oz it is bit scary about the witch but not about the little people and Dorothy and the funny people she meet like a scarecrow also a dog Toto. Dorothy goes home and live with her aunty whos nice like my nan I wish I lived with a aunty or nan not my mummy.

On Sundays we go to nans big church. We dont go to church at home. It is bit boring when the vicar makes a big speech it called a sermon but I like the singing. In the church is a big sign it says

Judge not, that ye be not judged. Matthew 7. 1.

It is from the Bible wot god said. I asked nan about it. I said I dont judge mummy but my mummy all ways judges me and say I am doing bad things so does god say she shouldnt do it? My nan says she is only trying to make me a good boy but you can go to far. So I said to mummy that god say she should not judge me and nan say you juge me to far but she got cross and sent me to bed and then she and nan had a row again. They all ways have a big row about me, I heard them over the balcony. Mumy said its all right for you, I have to bring him up alone all year, you can give him sweets and treats and he likes you. And nan say you need to give him space he is a boy let him breath. I do breath, mummy doesnt stop me breathing but she dont give me space.

I asked my nan will I go to hevan if I dont judge people and she say jesus say not to judge only god can judge and I say will mummy go to hell because she judges and my mummy slapped me. Then they had a row again and I was sent to bed early and I herd mummy crying.

So we did other things we went to Poole and saw the ships and the potery where they make the plates and you can see how they do it. I wanted to go on the boat round the harbour but mummy said its to expansive but the best bit was the beach and the sand castle and the fruit pie fish and chips and thats wot I did on my holliday.

* * *

Don't walk with your hands in your pockets; don't speak with your mouth full; finish your plate; sit up straight; always close the garden gate. This is how you brush your hair; this is what you ought to wear. It matches your eyes. You look good in blue. There, you look very smart. I don't care what the other boys wear, we're a respectable family. No, you can't have a fringe, it doesn't suit you, you have lovely eyebrows, I don't care if the other boys… No you can't have a bicycle, it's too dangerous round here, I don't care if all the other boys… Don't wolf it down, chew. Do your homework; wash your hands; go to bed, you need your beauty sleep. Button up your coat; and take your hands out of your pockets.

Why are you choosing those subjects? I thought you would be an accountant; or a solicitor. How will you make money out of that? Why are you wasting your allowance on that? Can I smell alcohol on your breath? Can I smell perfume? What is that smell? I thought you'd go to Oxford or Cambridge. I'm supporting you, you know. Why can't you get a decent summer job? If you'd studied law you could have got a – what do they call it? – articled clerk? – decent money anyway. Or a doctor. They make lots of money, and they are well respected. What is that noise? Well it sounds like noise to me – they all sound the same to me – and the hair! Is that where you get it from? Why don't you get your hair cut? If your father were alive… And sit up straight, you're always slouching. Don't you have anything decent to wear? You won't get a girl looking like that.

This would have killed your father if he wasn't dead already. You should go to a psychiatrist, psychologist, whatever it is they call it. I thought that girl in the flat was your girlfriend. She was very nice. Why don't you go out with her? It's all a phase you know. Don't you want to have children? I want to have grandchildren. You'll have no-one when you're old to look after you.

I thought you would be able to afford a better car than this. Well, they don't pay you enough then. What did I tell you, you should have gone in for accountancy. Do you still see that girl from when you were a student? Why not? She was nice. Don't say anything to Mrs Moore. I told her you're too busy to have a girfriend, with your job. And stand up straight. Why do you live in this terrible area? You could get a nice house with a garden and somewhere to park your car – a garage even – in a nice area.

I thought you would visit more often. I know it's a long way but I had to come back here to look after your nan. Well, I don't like him, and that's it. I can't have him staying here: Mrs Moore would… And I don't like the way he eats. And I thought at least you could have got with a nice doctor, or an accountant. What does he do anyway? I don't even know what that is! Why don't you come adown more – remember those wonderful times we used to have? You had a wonderful childhood, you know. We had great holidays in this house. Such a clever boy – what happened to you?

Are you still living in that house? Why? Isn't it time you moved somewhere decent? Well they don't pay you enough then. I thought you'd have your own company by now. When are you coming to see me? And is he still with you? Well, at least you haven't – you know – all that AIDS.

I always wanted a girl, you know. A daughter-in-law would have been nice, at least. I was always hoping for grandchildren. Well, at least you're happy. In your own way. I suppose he's – at least he's loyal. I'm comfortable in the sheltered housing – I like my own space now. You don't need to come down if you don't want to.

The church is smaller than I remembered it. I stand, with my hands in my pockets, looking across at the coffin. I look up at the plaque I remember from my childhood.

Judge not, that ye be not judged. Matthew 7. 1.